[887] in Humor
HUMOR: The Darwin Award
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Mon May 22 13:49:59 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 22 May 1995 13:41:13 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Mon, 22 May 1995 11:51:19 -0400 (EDT)
From: Steve Berczuk <berczuk@space.mit.edu>
...
From: "MIA My Karma ran over my Dogma" <CORINHA@BRIT.dnet.teradyne.com>
Subject: This just in...Darwin award nominee...
thanks to Bob Maher for forwarding this to me for our edification...
[forwards deleted]
"Darwin award" Nominee: You all know about the Darwin awards -- it's
an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest
service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.
Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke(tm) machine,
which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda
out of it.
And for this year's nominee, the story is:
The Arizona (U.S.) Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal
embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road, on the outside
of a curve.
The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car.
The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene.
The boys in the lab finally figured out what it was, and what had
happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow got hold of a JATO unit, (Jet Assisted
Take Off, actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is normally used to give heavy
military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short
airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert, and
found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit
to his car, jumped in, got up some speed, and fired off the JATO!!
Best as they could determine, he was doing somewhere between 250 and
300 mph (350-420kph) when he came to that curve....
The brakes were completely burned away, apparently from trying to slow
the car.
TODAY'S LESSON KIDS: Solid-fuel rockets don't have an 'off' switch...
