[874] in Humor
The language barrier...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Derek H. Cedillo)
Thu May 11 00:04:40 1995
To: obuddy@nyu.edu, km-evans@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu, mann0066@gold.tc.umn.edu,
garcia@MIT.EDU, pgarcia@MIT.EDU, arh@MIT.EDU, gil@MIT.EDU,
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Cc: mumqb@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu, mesull@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu, kstang@unlv.edu,
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Date: Wed, 10 May 1995 23:59:16 EDT
From: "Derek H. Cedillo" <cid@MIT.EDU>
This might be seen as unpolitically correct, but I found it pretty damn funny!
Seen on a door in building 37(although it is by memory, and I added a little
adlib myself):
The story told by an Italian visiting the US to his friends back home.
So I a walk inna the restaurant, and i talka to the waitah.
"I wanna two piss uva the toast"
But he come back an'a only give me a one piss.
I say "Hey, I ahsaid I'a wanna two piss"
So he says: "You willa haveh to do that ah over there sir" ana he apoins
to the backah the room.
"no. You a doan unnerstan. I a wanna two piss ona this plate,
ona thissa table"
"Sir you ah canna piss on the table, get outta here you son ma bitch"
He a doan even know me, and is a callin me ah son ma bitch.
So I go to anothah restauarante, anna I getta my food, and thereah is
a spoon, anna the knife, but ah no foak. So I a says to the waitress.
"Excusah me miss, but I wanna foak"
"Everyone awanna foak sir"
"No. You a doan unnerstan. I wanna foak ona this table, now,
so I can eat ah my meal"
So she a slaps me, an' says "You ah one sickah man, you son ma bitch!"
I doan a know her either, but she call me a son ma bitch too
So I goes to ah my hotel. An there iza no sheet ona the bed.
So I call the manager, an I says "excusah me, but I wanna sheet ona
ma bed."
"Noah sir, you cannota sheet ona da bed"
"but I cannota sleep ona da bed withouta da sheet"
"You son ma bitch, you cannota sheet ona da bed, getta outta my hotel"
Again, I get called a son ma bitch, an I doan a know the guy.
So as I gets a ready to leave, the manager was all nice an stuff, but
then he asays, "Piss to you, sir"
"Piss to me? WELLAH! PISS TO YOU, AN ONNA YOUR MOTHERS GRAVE, ANA ON YOUR
WHOLE FARGIN COUNTRY!" I says back.
I doan alike america, so i agoes back home to Italy. Ann I likah it
much ah bettah.
