[793] in Humor
HUMOR: Real World Calling Plans
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Mar 28 15:04:16 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 1995 14:59:31 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 95 11:43:24
From: pug@MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
CALLING CIRCLES FOR THE REAL WORLD:
Plan Discount
^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^
"Just Friends" plan 30% discount when you call someone you want
to have sex with but who has something less
intimate in mind
"Just Friends II" 40% discount if you did have sex with the person and
that person later managed to take sex out of the
relationship and you didn't have enough self-esteem
to enforce even a temporary "no talk" period
"Bad Friends" plan For calling someone who never picks up and
never calls you back, a 25% discount during the first
minute of leaving a message
"Real Friends" 50% discount when calling to tell someone something
they'd rather not hear. Popular topics include:
"The way you dress embarasses me" and "You smell."
"False Friends" 30% discount when you dial someone *you* call a
friend, but who badmouths you to other people
"Less Than Friends" A 25% discount for calling anybody whose number
you had to look up
