[684] in Humor
HUMOR: The TOP TWENTY surprise plot twists in upcoming TNG episodes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Jan 24 22:24:18 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 24 Jan 1995 22:20:49 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Tue, 24 Jan 95 09:18:14 EST
From: Connie_Kleinjans@Novell.COM
From: scott_schroeder@ins.com (Scott Schroeder)
From: david_mccord@ins.COM (David McCord)
The TOP TWENTY surprise plot twists in upcoming TNG episodes
20) Worf signs his son Alexander up for ballet lessons
19) Data swears
18) Guinan removes her hat, revealing that she is a Saturday Night Live
style Conehead
17) Picard beams down
16) All of Geordi's lines are in words of two syllables or less, with no
pseudo-scientific doubletalk
15) Troi runs amok with a machete
14) Barclay is really the Captain; Picard is just an ensign, and all of his
"command" has been a holodeck simulation
13) No guest stars are relatives of Tasha Yar
12) Geordi gets a woman
11) Riker doesn't get a woman
10) Data states that he cannot use contractions after using one in the
previous scene, and the fabric of the universe, unable to withstand the
continuity error, is rent asunder
9) Picard wakes up muttering "there's no place like home"
8) Riker accepts command of another starship, the U.S.S. ZZ Top
7) Ten Forward is turned into a strip-joint, with its lead act being
Beverly Crusher as "The Dancing, Disrobing Doctor"
6) Tired of not being sure whether he is a lieutenant or a chief petty
officer, O'Brien beams the entire bridge crew into a black hole and assumes
the rank of Captain
5) Picard fires the phasers
4) "Prime Directive" is the word of the day, entire crew goes
"Aaaaahhhhh!!" at the top of their lungs whenever it is mentioned
3) Data's cat, Spot, is revealed as a Romulan spy
2) Wesley is affected the same as the rest of the crew, and a no-name
security guard saves the ship
1) Picard switches from Earl Grey to Nestea Instant Tea Mix; does "Nestea
Plunge" into swimming pool on holodeck
