[67] in Humor
HUMOR: News of the Weird 1/6
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Thu Feb 10 09:58:30 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 10 Feb 94 09:56:21 EST
------- Forwarded Message
Date: Tue, 8 Feb 1994 05:15:34 -0700
From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
WEIRDNUZ.309 (News of the Weird, January 6, 1994)
by Chuck Shepherd
Lead Story
* In December, Dominique Gosbout, of Abitibi, Quebec, petitioned the
legislature to restore one provision of the province's old Civil Code
that was changed in the new 1992 Code. Article 441 now lists the only
obligations of married persons as "respect, fidelity, care, and help."
For the first time in 200 years, "love" is no longer required, and
Gosbout wants it back. [Sault Star-CP, 12-3-93]
The Litigious Society
* In July, retired Air Force Maj. Bill Smith filed a lawsuit in Fort
Worth, Tex., against the estate of Elvis Presley, charging that the
estate has been "perpetrating a fraud" that Presley died in 1977. Smith
says the estate's "claim" interferes with his attempts to sell his books
on Elvis's current whereabouts. [Nashville Tennessean, Jul93]
* Vicki Jo Daily, 36, filed a lawsuit in July in Jackson, Wy., against
the widow of the man she collided with and killed in a February
accident. The 56-year-old victim's snowmobile had suddenly cut in
front of Daily's pickup truck, and he died at the scene. Police said
Daily was free of blame, and she now wants money from the widow for the
"grave and crippling psychological injuries" she suffered by watching
the man die. [Jackson Hole News, 7-21-93]
* In December, a New York appeals court rejected Edna Hobbs's lawsuit
against the company that makes the device called The Clapper. Hobbs
claimed she hurt her hands because she had to clap too hard in order to
turn her appliances on: "I couldn't peel potatoes [when my hands hurt].
I never ate so many baked potatoes in my life. I was in pain."
However, the judge said Hobbs had merely failed to adjust the
sensitivity controls. [Troy Record-AP, Dec93]
* In December, a judge in Martinez, Calif., dismissed the lawsuit filed
by Mike and Jo Ann Hansen on behalf of their son, who complained that
math teacher Eric Henze gave him a C for the course despite his having
earned an A on the final exam. [San Jose Mercury News-AP, 12-12-93]
* In September 1992, homeless couple Darryl Washington and Maria Ramos
were injured when a train plowed into them as they were having sex on
a mattress on the tracks at a New York City subway station. Injuries
were not severe, thanks to a quick-acting motorman. Nonetheless,
according to a December 1993 story in the New York Daily News, the
couple has filed a lawsuit against the Transit Authority for
"carelessness, recklessness, and negligence." Said the couple's
attorney, "Homeless people are allowed to have sex, too." [New York
Daily News, 12-21-93]
* In November, a court in Vancouver, British Columbia, awarded David
Mattatall $632 in medical costs and other expenses stemming from a car
"accident" in 1991. Mattatall had sued his mother for closing her car
door on the paw of Mattatall's cat Daisy, and the loss means that
Mattatall's mother will lose her 40% safe-driving discount. Daisy will
not benefit from the money, since she was subsequently run over by
another car. [Sault Star-CP, 11-17-93]
* In September John L. Demirjian filed a lawsuit against California
Polytechnic University at San Luis Obispo, claiming that he was
improperly dismissed as a student in the teaching certificate program.
Demirjian claims the real reason for his ouster was "unsubstantiated
rumors" that he ate cookies around the department in a sloppy manner
and that he had a flatulence problem. According to the lawsuit, "There
is no physical evidence that any gas was passed, or ... any
authentication as to [its] point of origin." [San Jose Mercury News,
10-16-93]
* According to the December [italics] State Legislatures magazine,
Kansas is poised to toughen its worker compensation laws because a
former insurance commissioner was awarded $95,000 in benefits this year.
The commissioner's physician also filed a claim, alleging that he
suffered injuries from having to sit so often on a cramped witness
stand, testifying in worker compensation cases. [State Legislatures,
December 1993]
* Ernesto Mota, 32, who suffered brain damage when he swallowed the
contents of a bag of cocaine in a police station so that it could not
be used against him as evidence, filed a $7 million lawsuit against the
city of Oak Forest, Ill., recently. Mota claims the police should have
stopped him, or failing that, should have called medics more quickly.
[Chicago Tribune, 12-8-93]
* Mansfield, Ohio, inmates Paul B. Goist, 27, and Craig A. Anthony, 28,
filed a lawsuit in December against General Foods, alleging that the
company failed to give notice to them that Maxwell House coffee is
addictive. The seek $20,000 as compensation for the headaches and
insomnia they are suffering while in prison. [Athens Messenger-AP,
Dec93]
The Weirdo-American Community
* The county medical examiner in Syracuse, N. Y., resigned in November
to avoid further investigation of charges the he had removed organs from
corpses without the families' permission and that he had failed to
manage the office properly. Included in the latter charge was an
incident in which two men (both with child-sex convictions) entered the
office, opened and stitched up a corpse, and photographed one of them
with the corpse. [New York Times-AP, 11-20-93]
Least Competent People
* An official of the Louisiana Lottery told the Baton Rouge Morning
Advocate in December that the most inept case of attempted lottery fraud
he has seen involved a man, his daughter, and her boyfriend. Each had
a "winning" Lotto ticket that had obviously been taped together using
parts of other tickets. A lottery official tried to discourage the
three from pressing their claim, informing them of the penalties for
lottery fraud. The father and daughter immediately abandoned the
scheme, but the boyfriend stuck to his story and was eventually
convicted and imprisoned. [Baton Rouge Morning Advocate, 12-15-93]
Copyright 1993, Universal Press Syndicate. All rights
reserved. Released for the personal use of readers.
No commercial use may be made of the material or of the
name News of the Weird.
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