[668] in Humor

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HUMOR: Project Managers

daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Mon Jan 16 14:09:42 1995

To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 16 Jan 1995 14:04:34 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>


Date: Thu, 12 Jan 95 14:24:32 PST
From: Connie_Kleinjans@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)

- ----------------------------------------
        Project Managers
- ----------------------------------------

 If you get in my way, I'll kill you!
        - ideal project manager

 If you get in my way, you'll kill me!
        - somewhat less than ideal project manager

 If I get in my way, I'll kill you!
        - somewhat misguided project manager

 If I get in your way, I'll kill you!
        - A tough m. f. project manager
          (eats glass, live cats, etc.)

 If get kill in will way I you.
        -dyslexic, functionally illiterate project manager

 I am the way! Kill me if you can!
        -messianic project manager

 Get away, I'll kill us all!
        -suicidal project manager

 If you kill me, I'll get in your way.
        -thoughtful but ineffective project manager

 If I kill you I'll get in your way.
        -project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious

 If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm.
        -project manager from New York

 I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way,
  so no one will get killed.
        -project manager who is about to get in big trouble

 If you kill me, so what?  If you get in my way, who cares?
        -weak, uninspired, lackluster project manager
                                                      
 If I kill me, you'll get your way.
        -pragmatic project manager

 Kill me, it's the only way.
        -every project manager to date.



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