[3831] in Humor
Upgrade Problems
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Fri Dec 6 12:12:22 2002
Message-ID: <005b01c29d4a$99849960$a42fa8c0@LEXX>
From: "Andrew Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: <humor@mit.edu>
Date: Fri, 6 Dec 2002 12:12:04 -0500
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>
>Subject: Advice from Tech Support
>
>Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
>slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had
>operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband
1.0
>un-installed many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.9, but
installed
>undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0
>also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've
>tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can
I
>do?
>
>Signed
>Desperate
>
>Dear Desperate:
>First keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while
>Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/ I /
>thought/ you /loved me, and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then
>automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember,
>overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as
>Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer
>6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT
>install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are
>not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also
>potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program Girlfriend 9.2,
>which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially
>serious viruses into the Operating System.
>
>In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
>memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
>additional software to enhance the system performance. I personally
>recommend HotFood 3.0 and SingleMalt Scotch 4.5, combined with that old
>stand-by ... Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved
performance
>of Husband 1.0's hardware).
>
>Good Luck
>Tech Support
>
