[3754] in Humor
Humor: The Dead Parrot
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Edwin Olson)
Fri Sep 27 19:07:31 2002
Message-ID: <00ab01c2667a$882710a0$ed01a8c0@edwinolson>
From: "Edwin Olson" <eolson@MIT.EDU>
To: <humor@mit.edu>
Date: Fri, 27 Sep 2002 19:06:37 -0400
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A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgery. As she lay =
her
pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and =
said,
"I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something?"
The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returning a =
few
moments later with beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked =
on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He =
then
looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet led the dog =
out
but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also
sniffed delicately at the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, =
meowed
and ran out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm =
sorry;
but like I said, Your parrot is most definitely, 100%, certifiably ...
dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and =
produced
a bill which he handed to the woman.
The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. =
"$150
just to tell me my bird is dead?!" The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my
word for it, the bill would only have been $20, but with the Lab Report =
and
the Cat Scan......."
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<DIV>A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgery. As =
she lay=20
her<BR>pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened =
to=20
the<BR>bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly =
and=20
said,<BR>"I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."<BR><BR>The distressed =
owner=20
wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any<BR>testing on him or =
anything. He might just be in a coma or something?"<BR><BR>The vet =
rolled his=20
eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returning a few<BR>moments =
later with=20
beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on<BR>in amazement, =
the dog=20
stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the<BR>examination table =
and=20
sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then<BR>looked at the vet =
with=20
sad eyes and shook his head. The vet led the dog out<BR>but =
returned a few=20
moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also<BR>sniffed =
delicately at=20
the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed<BR>and ran out of =
the=20
room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry;<BR>but like I =
said, Your=20
parrot is most definitely, 100%, certifiably ...<BR>dead." He then =
turned to his=20
computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced<BR>a bill which he handed =
to the=20
woman.<BR><BR>The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" =
she=20
cried. "$150<BR>just to tell me my bird is dead?!" The vet =
shrugged. "If=20
you'd taken my<BR>word for it, the bill would only have been $20, but =
with the=20
Lab Report and<BR>the Cat Scan......."<BR></DIV></BODY></HTML>
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