[3684] in Humor
administratium
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (gif)
Fri Jun 21 07:17:26 2002
Message-Id: <200206211116.HAA17804@nerd-xing.mit.edu>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 21 Jun 2002 07:16:00 -0400
From: gif <gif@MIT.EDU>
[attribution unknown]
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively named "Administratium".
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4
days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but
instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange
places.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons forming
isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"Critical Morass."
--
gif
KC8PIN
Give a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
