[3644] in Humor
comments on the queen mum
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Alex Coventry)
Wed Apr 17 21:17:08 2002
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2002 21:15:57 -0400
Message-Id: <200204180115.VAA32020@opus.mit.edu>
From: Alex Coventry <alex_c@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@mit.edu
my sister sent me this list of purported extracts from a message board
set up to honor the Queen Mother. some of them are pretty good.
enjoy
alex
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"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our
very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York
in the face".
L.Ward, Mansfield.
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"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I
did.
Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile for
the
rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".
A.Christie,Hendon.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are shit"
J.Clement. Grantham.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"
D.Holmes, Somerset.
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"She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was
visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to
the
cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the
Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a
fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself
later
though, it was sickening".
B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was a marvelous woman, and a wonderful lover". L. J.Worthington,
Penrith.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the day off".
S.Wilson, Bristol.
----------------------------------------------------------
"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal
family without being accused of being homosexual".
J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to
experiment with drugs".
E. Franks, Cheshire.
----------------------------------------------------------
"On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".
T.Watson, Ilford.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive
around The
Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".
Y. Howell, Slough.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman
should
have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?"
W.Waugh, Richmond.
----------------------------------------------------------
"It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".
K. O'Neil, Inverness.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her
public
duties".
N. Wallace, Swansea.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this
terrible
event"
E. Thompson, West Lothian.
---------------------------------------------------------
"Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel
better"
P.McGregor, Southampton.
---------------------------------------------------------
"We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels,
jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk
past
her coffin".
R. Thompson, Bath.
---------------------------------------------------------
"I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so
again
until her majesty is buried"
E. Gorman, Derbyshire.
---------------------------------------------------------
"Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".
R. Combes,
Romford.
---------------------------------------------------------
"No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a
smile.
Just like a retard"
G. Hollins, East Sussex.
----------------------------------------------------------
"I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so
kind,
so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you know
its not
true' she said, 'you don't smell of shit'. She was a wondrous
person".
E.Collier, London.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".
G.Williams, West Midlands.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she
perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like
us in
a good way. God bless you ma'am".
L. Weller, Harlow.
----------------------------------------------------------
"If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you
heartless
bastard!"
J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.
----------------------------------------------------------
"She had such a difficult life, always battling against
adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time
round she
is given a life of privilege and comfort"
T.D.Wainwright, Hastings.
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