[3614] in Humor
HUMOR: The Axis (Axes?) of Evil News Story
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Tue Feb 12 20:25:42 2002
Message-Id: <5.1.0.14.2.20020212202148.00a97bc8@imap.fas.harvard.edu>
Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 20:24:31 -0500
To: mowu@mit.edu, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>, kris@speechcode.com,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@mit.edu, dahv@mit.edu,
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"mbullet@fas.harvard.edu" <mbullet@fas.harvard.edu>, humor@mit.edu
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
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>From: "Lorraine J. Rappaport" <ljr@MIT.EDU>
>Subject: Fwd: Fw: Fresh News Story - Just Arrived]
>
>
>
> >
> >>> ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
> >>> Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own
> >>> Clubs
> >>>
> >>> Beijing -- Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
> >>> Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis
> >>> of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid
> >>> Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the
> >>> Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
> >>> new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are
> >>> Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim
> >>> Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...
> >>> we're the best."
> >>> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
> >>> although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
> >>> "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
> >>> "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi
> >>> President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World
> >>> War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can
> >>> only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
> >>> THE AXIS PANDEMIC
> >>> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift,
> >>> as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
> >>> rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical
> >>> chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of
> >>> Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the
> >>> Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia
> >>> established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
> >>> Disagreeable.
> >>> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs
> >>> filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called
> >>> the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked
> >>> to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of
> >>> Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts
> >>> About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the
> >>> Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's
> >>> not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish
> >>> Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
> >>> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps
> >>> making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes,
> >>> although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose
> >>> Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false
> >>> application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the
> >>> charges.
> >>> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
> >>> privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
> >>>
> >>>Sanford Kreisberg
> >>>Cambridge Essay Service
> >>>40 Tierney Street, Cambridge, MA 02138
> >
