[3607] in Humor
New Englander in Hell
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Larry Stone)
Wed Feb 6 00:57:53 2002
Date: Wed, 6 Feb 2002 0:57:44 EST
From: Larry Stone <lcs@MIT.EDU>
Reply-To: <lcs@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Message-ID: <CMM.0.90.4.1012975064.lcs@defiant.mit.edu>
[some forwards burned off on the way back to earth:]
From: Andrew Kowalczyk [mailto:akowalczyk@wcrinet.org]
Sent: Tuesday, February 05, 2002 9:27 AM
Subject: humor
A New Englander dies and is sent to hell. He had been a horrible
man throughout life and even the devil wanted to punish him,
so he puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer.
To make it worse he cranks up the temperature and the humidity.
"Love my kingdom!" laughs the devil.
After a couple of days the devil checks in on his victim to see
if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as he looks
at the New Englander happily swinging his hammer and whistling
a happy tune. The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't
understand this. I've turned the heat way up, it's humid,
you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?"
The New Englander, smiling big, looks at the devil and replies,
"This is great! It reminds me of August in New England. Hot,
humid, a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is
fantastic!"
The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the New
Englander's remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature,
send down driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, hell is a
wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with dust
blowing into his eyes, the New Englander is happily slogging
through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks.
Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions.
The New Englander replies, "This is great! Just like April
in New England. It reminds me of working out in the fields
with spring planting!" The devil is now completely baffled.
Angry, and desperate to make hell really hell, he tries one
last ditch effort. He makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly
hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will
surely make the New Englander unhappy.
The devil checks in on the New Englander. He is aghast at
what he sees. The New Englander is dancing, singing, and
twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.
"How can you be so happy? Don't you know it's 40 below zero!?"
screams the devil.
Jumping up and down the New Englander throws a snowball at
the devil and yells, "Hell's frozen over!! This means the
Patriots won the Super Bowl!!!!
