[3587] in Humor
Hello?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Wed Jan 2 14:22:23 2002
Message-ID: <3C335D30.D9A4DDDC@irobot.com>
Date: Wed, 02 Jan 2002 14:19:12 -0500
From: Andrew Bennett <abennett@irobot.com>
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To: humor@mit.edu
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Sources many and appreciated.
-Drew
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now,
but if you'll leave your name and number,
we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
______________________________________________
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company,
I already sent the money. If you are my parents,
please send money. If you are my financial aid institution,
you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
______________________________________________
(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine.
Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes
into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper,
with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling
at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time?
Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain.
The beep hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
______________________________________________
"Hi. Now you say something."
______________________________________________
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is,
so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."
"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
______________________________________________
(From [someone's] Japanese friend in Toronto)
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon.
If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!
______________________________________________
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken.
This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly,
and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
______________________________________________
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages. My owners do not need siding,
windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
They give to charity through their office
and do not need their picture taken.
If you're still with me, leave your name and number
and they will get back to you."
______________________________________________
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine
just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls.
Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message,
just hold it up to the phone."
______________________________________________
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't
pick up the phone right now, because we're doing
something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it
up and down, and I like doing it left to right...
real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're
done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
