[3545] in Humor
A few "interesting" ones to start off your day...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Johnny T. Yang)
Fri Oct 5 03:02:09 2001
Message-Id: <5.0.2.1.2.20011005025753.01c4ce70@hesiod>
Date: Fri, 05 Oct 2001 03:00:20 -0400
To: humor@mit.edu
From: "Johnny T. Yang" <jtyang@MIT.EDU>
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Everyone in the hotel was talking about the wedding where
the groom was 95 years old and the bride was only 23. The
groom looked pretty feeble, and some of the guests thought
that the wedding night could kill the old man, because his
bride was a healthy and vivacious young woman.
But the next morning, everyone was surprised to see the
bride come down the main stairway slowly, step by step,
and painfully bold-legged. She finally managed to hobble
to the front desk.
The clerk looked very concerned, and he asked the bride,
"What happened to you? You look like you just got done
wrestling an alligator."
"Oh my God," said the bride. "He told me that he had been
saving up for 75 years.... I thought he meant his money!!"
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A rooster is walking along one day when he comes to a riverbank
with a big bag of cat food beside it. Uninterested in the bag, he
looks over to the other side and sees a huge bag of chicken feed
which instantly makes his mouth water. Beside the bag of feed is
a small cat that is hungrily eyeing the cat food on his side.
The two look at each other and wonder what to do. The rooster
says, "I know, if we run & jump high enough we should be able
to make it to the other side."
The cat responds "OK, let's give it a try"
The rooster heads back about 15 feet, makes a run for it and
jumps as high as he can. He flaps his wings like crazy and just
makes it to the the bag and starts devouring the chicken feed.
The cat, now more motivated than ever, heads back about 20 feet
and makes a run for it. He jumps, and SPLASH! He lands right in
the middle of the river.
The Moral of the Story:
For every satisfied cock, there's a wet pussy!
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A couple has a male friend who's visiting from out-of-state, when an
unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps him from traveling. Since
the couple has no guest room, he states his intention to find a nearby
hotel, and be on his way in the morning.
"Nonsense," says the wife. "Our bed is plenty big enough for all three
of us, and we're all friends here." The husband concurs, and before
long they're settled in: husband in the middle, wife on his left,
friend on his right.
After a while, the husband begins snoring, and the wife sneaks over
to the friend's side of the bed, and invites him to have sex with her.
Naturally, he'd like to, but he's reluctant. "We're in the same bed
with your husband! He'll wake up, and he'll kill me."
"Don't worry about it," she says, "he's such a sound sleeper, he'll
never notice. If you don't believe me, just yank a hair off of his
ass. He won't even wake up."
So the friend yanks a hair off the husband's anus, and sure enough,
she's right. Her husband sleeps right through having a hair yanked out
of his ass. So, she and the friend have sex, and then she goes back to
her side of the bed.
After about twenty minutes, though, she's back on his side of the bed,
asking him to do it again. The same argument follows, another hair is
yanked from the husband's corn hole, and again they have sex. This
keeps up for about half the night, until after about the sixth time,
when the wife goes back to her side.
Then the husband rolls over, and whispers to his friend, "I don't
mind that you're shagging my wife, but do you really have to use
my asshole as your scoreboard?"
