[327] in Humor
HUMOR: 50 Things to do in an Elevator
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Jun 15 11:29:47 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 15 Jun 94 11:26:11 EDT
Date: 15 Jun 1994 09:05:59 +0500
From: "Sharalee Field" <sharalee@planning.mit.edu>
From: Kathryn Flynn
--------------------------------------
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up,
dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave (face, legs, or both).
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got
enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting
off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then
act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them
to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until
you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've
got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn
motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!"
and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other
passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh
mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
- ------------------ RFC822 Header Follows ------------------
Received: by planning.mit.edu with SMTP;14 Jun 1994 17:13:35 +0500
Received: from uucp6.UU.NET by relay1.UU.NET with SMTP
(rama) id QQwuho21980; Tue, 14 Jun 1994 17:07:29 -0400
Received: from tmc.UUCP by uucp6.UU.NET with UUCP/RMAIL
; Tue, 14 Jun 1994 17:08:01 -0400
Received: from notes by monitor.com (NX5.67c/NX3.0M)
id AA04152; Tue, 14 Jun 94 16:30:56 -0400
Received: by notes.monitor.com (IBM OS/2 SENDMAIL 1.2.9/1.2)
id AA0243; Tue, 14 Jun 94 16:30:39 -0700
Message-Id: <9406142330.AA0243@notes.monitor.com>
Received: from Monitor with "Lotus Notes Mail Gateway for SMTP" id
7C8C7197EABA0CB08525606E0070B996; Tue, 14 Jun 94 16:30:38
To: branden <jane_branden.mitpo#u#1@planning.mit.edu>
From: Kathryn Flynn <tmc!notes!Kathryn_Flynn@uunet.uu.net>
Date: 14 Jun 94 16:31:25 ES
Subject: 50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
Mime-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: Text/Plain
------- End of Forwarded Message
