[3191] in Humor
HUMOR:medical terms
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Freak on a Leash)
Mon May 1 15:16:02 2000
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 01 May 2000 15:15:52 -0400
From: Freak on a Leash <descentr@MIT.EDU>
Redneck Medical Terms Defined
Benign..........What you be, after you be eight.
Artery.........The study of paintings.
Bacteria.........Back door to cafeteria.
Barium...........What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section.....A neighborhood in Rome.
Cat scan..........Searching for kitty.
Cauterize........Made eye contact with her.
Colic..........A sheep dog.
Coma...........A punctuation mark.
D&C...........Where Washington is.
Dilate..........To live long.
Enema..........Not a friend.
Fester............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula..........A small lie.
Genital..........Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series........World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail.........What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.........Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain........Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff........A doctor's cane.
Morbid..........A higher offer.
Nitrates...........Cheaper then day rates.
Node.............I knew it.
Outpatient..........A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear........A fatherhood test.
Pelvis...........Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room......Place to do upholstery.
Rectum............Damn near killed him.
Secretion.........Hiding something.
Seizure..........Roman emperor.
Tablet...........A small table.
Terminal Illness........Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor...........One plus one more.
Urine..............Opposite of you're out.
Varicose...........Nearby/close by.
