[3121] in Humor
Is Your Computer Possesed by a Demon?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (mkhusid@MIT.EDU)
Tue Mar 7 17:51:11 2000
From: mkhusid@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Reply-To: mkhusid@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 07 Mar 2000 17:52:21 -0500
I thought you might be interested in the following page,
taken from WEEKLY WORLD NEWS Online.
Beware: angry computer
To view the HTML version, just go to this URL:
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/stories/1745.html
or just go to their main Web site at
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/
-- Mike (mkhusid@mit.edu)
Is Your Computer Possesed by a Demon?
SAVANNAH, Ga. -- Your computer may be possessed by a demon, a leading
minister warns.
"While the Computer Age has ushered in many advances, it has also
opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can
enter and corrupt men's souls," said the Reverend Jim Peasboro, author
of an upcoming book, The Devil in the Machine.
Demons are able to possess anything with a brain, from a chicken to a
human being. And today's thinking machines have enough space on their
hard drives to accommodate Satan or his pals.
"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil
spirit," the minister confirmed.
The Savannah clergyman says he became aware of the problem from
counseling churchgoers.
"I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a
dark force whenever they used their computers," he said. "Decent,
happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic
websites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations.
"Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering
Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing
language they would never use normally.
"One woman wept as she confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the
computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.' "
The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the
parishioner's computer himself. To his surprise, an
artificial-intelligence program fired up -- without him clicking it
on. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he
recalls. "It typed out, 'Preacher, you are a weakling and your God is
a damn liar.' "
Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like
gobbledygook.
"I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the
minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in
a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!"
Since, then, Rev. Peasboro has researched the problem further and
uncovered alarming facts.
"I learned most of the youths involved in school shootings like the
tragedy at Columbine were computer buffs," he said. "I have no doubt
that computer demons exerted an influence on them."
The minister estimates that one in 10 computers in America now houses
some type of evil spirit.
Rev. Peasboro advises that if you suspect your computer is possessed,
you consult a clergyman or, if the computer is still under warranty,
take it in for servicing. He says, "Technicians can replace the hard
drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit
permanently."
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This material is copyright 2000 by the Weekly World News and may not
be reproduced without the written approval of the Weekly World News.
