[3084] in Humor
Fwd: Poor kid
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Ajai K Bharadwaj)
Mon Jan 24 16:16:12 2000
Date: Mon, 24 Jan 2000 16:00:23 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Ajai K Bharadwaj <ajai@MIT.EDU>
>>>Subject: A Plea...
>>>
>>>
>>> >I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing this for me,
>>>because
>>>I
>>> >can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but
>>she
>>>says
>>> >it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't
>>
>>>answer,
>>> >and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore.
>>> >
>>> >The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a
>>body.
>>>It
>>> >doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave me an
>>>artificial
>>> >body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said
>>that
>>>was
>>> >the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.
>>I
>>>would
>>> >like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.
>>> >
>>> >Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying
>>people.
>>>I
>>> >said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy
>>always
>>>gives
>>> >me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real
>>
>>>bad.I
>>> >hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail.
>>> >
>>> >Dr. Johansen said if you forward this e-mail then Bill Gates will
>>team
>>>up
>>> >with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect
>>>prayers
>>> >from school children all over America and take them up to space so
>>that
>>>the
>>> >angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he
>>will
>>>take
>>> >up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The
>>doctors
>>> >could help me better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play
>>>baseball.
>>> >Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them.
>>The
>>> >doctors said that every time you forward this letter, the astronauts
>>can
>>>take
>>> >another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and
>>I
>>>want
>>>a
>>> >body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.
>>> >
>>> >If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a
>>mean
>>> >heartless poop-face who doesn't care about a poor little boy with
>>only a
>>> >head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own
>>> >guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death so
>>you
>>>can
>>> >burn forever in hell. What kind of heartless person are you that you
>>
>>>can't
>>> >take five f***ing minutes to forward this to all your friends so that
>>
>>>they
>>> >can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe
>>help a
>>> >poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?
>>> >
>>> >Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's
>>hard. I
>>>wish
>>> >I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.
>>> >
>>> >Thank You.
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >Billy 'Smiles' Evans
>>> >
>>> >The boy with just a head, And a burlap sack for a body.
>>
