[3013] in Humor
Amusing Disclaimer
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Me)
Mon Nov 22 11:26:04 1999
Date: Mon, 22 Nov 1999 11:16:22 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Me <jerrod@alum.mit.edu>
Cc: daelen@MIT.EDU
From www.cdrecordable.com
UPS GROUND DISCLAIMER - Please check this box to indicate that you have
read this notice about UPS Ground. UPS Ground is a very slow and clumsy
service (it is not unlike a crippled, drunken turtle with astigmatism). It
can take over 2 weeks for your shipment to reach you if you select this
shipping method. If the UPS truck is full, there is a chance that your
package will be towed behind the truck (at least it will look like it was).
Your shipment may also be kicked (probably more than once) by a UPS driver
who's annoyed that the package was heavy. We want you to know this up
front. To put it bluntly, UPS Ground stinks, but we offer it because many
of our customers insist on the lowest priced shipping option available, and
UPS Ground is it. The problem is primarily the fault of the UPS sorting
facility in Cach, Illinois. Just about every "Ground" shipment we send out
West goes through this hub. The Cach facility will sit on the shipment for
3 or 4 days, and then send a package that is bound for Seattle, instead to
Florida. We're hoping that UPS reads this because they've got a real
problem there that needs to be fixed. If you are going to need your order
delivered to you in less than 2 weeks, please select another shipping
method (like UPS 3 Day Select). If you do select UPS Ground, please don't
write us scathing Emails screaming at us about where your shipment is. We
tried to warn you. Thank you.
+-----------------------------------------------+-----------------+
| Jerrod Wiesman | jerrod@alum.mit.edu | Don't get Even, |
| 283 Washington St | jerrod@arepa.com | Get Odd! |
| Cambridge, MA \_|_/ Diagonti the Fiery +-----------------+
| 617-864-GREY(4739) | http://web.mit.edu/jerrod/www/ |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------+
