[2989] in Humor
HUMOR: Silly Tourist Quotes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Fri Nov 5 13:26:24 1999
Date: Fri, 05 Nov 1999 13:23:49 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
kris@speechcode.com, jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU,
mtsai@bqa.com, immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com,
tlawlor@palmerdodge.com, paul.n.leblanc@ae.ge.com,
bmendell@mediaone.net, nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
"Jean, Marc (GEAE)" <marc.jean@ae.ge.com>, celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu, Courtney Nichols <crnichol@fas.harvard.edu>,
wheger@bc-arch.com, jhassel@fas.harvard.edu
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>From: "Joke of the Day" <Joker@joker.org>
>Subject: Men and Women- Joke Of The Day
>Date: Fri, 05 Nov 1999 02:51:01 -0500
>
>
> The Original Joke of the Day http://www.joker.org
> ___________________________________________________________
>
> On The Difference Between Men and Women:
> ------------------------------------------
> "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth.
> On the other hand, we can open all our own jars."
> - Jeff Green
>
>
> And God Said
> --------------
> "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people
> don't blame everything on me. And let there
> be lawyers, so people don't blame everything
> on Satan.'" - John Wing
>
>
>
> All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park Tourists
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information
> kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff!
>
> 1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at
> the "Elk Crossing" signs?
> 2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
> 3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"
> Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' "
> Tourist: "Oh".
> 4. Are the bears with collars tame?
> 5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
> 6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic
> table, or should I store it in my tent?
> 7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
> 8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you
> tell me what it was?
> 9. Are there birds in Canada?
> 10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
> 11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
> 12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
> 13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is
> that Saskatchewan?
> 14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?
> 15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
> 16. How far is Banff from Canada?
> 17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
> 18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?
> 19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money
> to British pounds?
> 20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one,
> don't they?
> 21. Are there phones in Banff?
> 22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?
> 23. We're on the decibel system you know.
> 24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??
> 25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?
> 26. Don't you Canadians know anything?
> 27. Where do you put the animals at night?
> 28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
> Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and
> paint the bottom".
> Tourist: "Oh!"
> ___________________________________________________________
>
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> This copy was delivered to: [sharalee_field@harvard.edu]
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> ________________________________________________________
>
> The Famous Joke of the Day One Liner!
>
> "What are the three words guaranteed to
> humiliate men everywhere? "'Hold my purse.'"
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sharalee M. Field, Planning Analyst
Faculty of Arts and Sciences Planning Office
Harvard University
Ph: 617.495.8257 Fax: 617.495.7881
