[2884] in Humor
Headlines
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Brian T Sniffen)
Tue Jul 27 13:30:58 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Brian T Sniffen <brians@MIT.EDU>
Date: 27 Jul 1999 13:30:11 -0400
Some 40% of female gas station employees in Metro Detroit are women,
up from almost none a year ago.
-- Detroit News article
Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee
-- Toronto Star headline
Publicize your business absolutely free! Send $6.
-- Entrepreneur Magazine ad
Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out
-- The Tallahassee Bugle
Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs
-- The Anchorage, Alaska Times
Married Priests In Catholic Church A Long Time Coming
-- The New Haven, Connecticut Register
Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters
-- The Tallahassee Democrat
Would She Climb To The Top Of Mr. Everest Again? Absolutely!
-- The Houston Chronicle
Governor's Penis Busy should be "Pen Is"
-- The New Haven, Connecticut Register
Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son
-- The Arkansas Plainsman
Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands
-- Bangor Maine News
Starr Aghast At First Lady Sex Position
-- The Washington Times
Clinton Stiff On Withdrawal
-- The Bosnia Bugle
Long Island Stiffens For Lili's Blow
-- Newsday
Organ Festival Ends In Smashing Climax
-- San Antonio Rose
Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust-free
-- Chicago Daily News
Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders
-- The Miami Herald
"Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after
age 25." - Mary Ann Tebedo (Republican member of the Colorado State
Senate), remark on the Senate floor during the 1995 session, quoted
in the Denver Post, May 14, 1995
"Christmas Sale of Methodist Women at West-Side Church"-headline in
the Springfield (Massachusetts) Daily News
"Health department says death certificates are to be ordered one week
in advance of death."from the Lancaster (Ohio) Eagle-Gazette
