[2864] in Humor
Teaching.
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (glen@substance.abuse.blackdown.org)
Sun Jun 27 13:44:57 1999
Resent-To: humor@MIT.EDU
Resent-From: nathanw@MIT.EDU (Nathan J. Williams)
From: glen@substance.abuse.blackdown.org
To: 0xdeadbeef@substance.abuse.blackdown.org
Date: Sat, 19 Jun 1999 18:13:47 -0400
Also-Resent-From: 0xdeadbeef@substance.abuse.blackdown.org
[I wish I knew where this rant was originally from. -glen]
Forwarded-by: Chris Thompson <ct@cthompson.org>
TEACHING
Let me see if I've got this right:
You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their very
waking moment with a love for learning.
Not only that, but also I'm to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity,
behaviorally modify disruptive behavior, and observe them for signs of
abuse.
I am to fight the war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check
their backpacks for guns and raise their self-esteem.
I'm to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play,
how and where to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook and how to
apply for a job, but I am never to ask if they are in this country
illegally.
I am to check their heads occasionally for lice, maintain a safe
environment, recognize signs of potential anti-social behavior, offer
advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and
scholarships, encourage a respect for the cultural diversity of others,
and, oh yeah, teach, always making sure that I give the girls in my class
fifty percent of my
attention.
I'm required by my contract to be working on my own time (summers and
evenings) and at my own expense towards additional certification, advanced
certification and a master's degree, to sponsor the cheerleaders or the
sophomore class (my choice), and after school I am to attend committee and
faculty meetings and participate in staff development training to maintain
my current certification and employment status.
I am to be a paragon of virtue larger than life, such that my very presence
will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority.
I'm to do all of this with just a piece of chalk, a few books and a bulletin
board, and on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps in
many states.
Is that all?
