[2862] in Humor
[rec.humor.oracle.d] Re: $subj
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Chris Laas)
Sun Jun 27 04:48:21 1999
Date: Sun, 27 Jun 1999 04:47:48 -0400 (EDT)
From: Chris Laas <golem@MIT.EDU>
Reply-To: golem@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Jim Evans <jevans@physics.uottawa.ca>
On Mon, 21 Jun 1999, AllanW wrote:
> Al Sharka <asharka@my-deja.com> wrote:
> > AllanW wrote:
> > > "tim wren" wrote:
> > > > Mike Jewell wrote ...
> > > > Jim Evans wrote:
> > > > > >An entire digest of questions and answers in the style of
> > > > > >John Cage.
> > > Wasn't John Cage the older paramedic on "Emergency"?
> > ISTR "Gage" as one of the character's names. Maybe.
> Okay, I'll give you this one ... but then, who was Johnny Cage?
COMING IN SUMMER, 2000 ... KEANU REEVES *IS* "JOHNNY CAGE"!
[Ext. Shot: Keanu rapidly fleeing a flaming piano. The piano explodes
dramatically.]
Keanu/Cage: Whoa.
RHOD Pictures presents the ACTION-CLASSICAL-MUSIC-BLOCKBUSTER HIT OF THE
YEAR! Also starring Geoffrey Rush as Philip Glass..
Glass: We begin this bold new artistic venture, to free music
>from the restraints of the classical Western tradition, slip free of the
bonds of melody and harmony, and to let sounds be themselves, rather than
vehicles for man-made theories or expressions of human sentiment!
Keanu/Cage: Excellent! [SFX: Guitar flurry]
... Samuel L. Jackson as Miles Davis...
Davis: [rasp] [mumble] [rasp]
Keanu/Cage: What?
Glass: He called you a muthafucka.
Keanu/Cage: Cool.
... and Ewan McGregor as Obi-wan Kenobi.
Kenobi: Your music is very strong in the Force, John Cage.
Keanu/Cage: Dude, what's with your hair?
Don't miss the ACTION!!
[scene of Keanu beating the crap out of assorted high-brow New England
music critics with his high flyin' martial arts moves]
Don't miss the SUSPENSE!!
[Keanu is tied to a bass-drum as razor-sharp cymbals swing menacingly
overhead]
Keanu/Cage: Do expect me to conform to traditional polyphonic
harmonies, Stravinski?!
Evil Orchestra Conductor: No, Mr. Cage, I expect you to die!
Don't miss the MUSICAL EXPERIENCE!
[thirty seconds of an utterly silent, blank screen]
KEANU REEVES *IS*.... JOHNNY CAGE!!!
Keanu/Cage: Whoa.
Coming Summer 2000 to a froup near you.
JIM,... and stretch!
