[2832] in Humor
HUMOR: Why Star Wars is better than Titanic
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Wed May 26 12:39:26 1999
Date: Wed, 26 May 1999 12:37:16 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
"kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com" <kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com>,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, mtsai@bqa.com,
immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com, tlawlor@palmerdodge.com,
nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
"Jean, Marc (GEAE)" <marc.jean@ae.ge.com>, celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu, Courtney Nichols <crnichol@fas.harvard.edu>,
wheger@wbc-architects.com
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>Date: Tue, 25 May 1999 00:32:14 -0700
>From: Connie Kleinjans <connie@misosoup.com>
>X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.06 [en] (Win95; U)
>To: connie@misosoup.com
>Subject: HUMOR: Why Star Wars is better than Titanic
>
>Reasons why Star Wars is better than Titanic
>
>Titanic's big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.
>
>Star Wars has WAY cooler action figure potential.
>
>Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
>
>Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material;
>Rose is just marriage bait.
>
>Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
>
>When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say "Look at the size of
>that thing!" and really mean it.
>
>It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving
>madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.
>
>Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic
>characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians
>to Admiral.
>
>Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages to AVOID losing his ship.
>
>We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his
>fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he
>strangles people and blows up planets for fun.
>
>Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?
>
>People have not lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star
>Wars on the bow of a cruise liner.
>
>Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hut.
>
>Two words: John Williams.
>
>There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
>
>Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the
>world"?
>
>If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he
>would use the Force to get the key.
>
>"I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same
>sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
>
>Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply
>freezes.
>
>We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated "Luke...
>I am your father"?
>
>Han Solo would've missed the damned iceberg!
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sharalee M. Field, Planning Analyst
Faculty of Arts and Sciences Planning Office
Harvard University
Ph: 617.495.8257 Fax: 617.495.7881
