[2773] in Humor
Urban legends
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathan Reed)
Thu Apr 15 11:40:11 1999
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 11:38:49 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Jonathan Reed <jdreed@MIT.EDU>
Don't know if this has been sent here or not, but here it is:
>I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man,
>was home recovering from having been served a
>rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
>
>So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he
>awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of
>ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of
>the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN
>STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said,
>"Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone
>because it was connected to his computer, and
>there was a virus on his computer that would
>destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail
>entitled, "Join the crew!"
>
>He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was
>a computer programmer who was working on software
>to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls
>around. And it's a little-known fact that the
>Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
>
>His program will prevent a global disaster in
>which all the computers get together and distribute
>the $600 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the
>leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true, I read it
>all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF,
>who was also promising me a free Disney World
>vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail
>to everyone I know.)
>
>The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay
>phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching
>into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an
>HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note
>that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
>
>Luckily he was only a few blocks from the
>hospital-the one where that little boy who is
>dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for
>everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and
>the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him
>a nickel for every e-mail he receives.
>
>I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch
>of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get
>it and forward it to 20 people you will have good
>luck but 10 people you will only have OK luck and
>if you send it to less than 10 people you will have
>BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
>
>So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
>hospital, but on the way he noticed another car
>driving along without its lights on. To be helpful,
>he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot
>as part of a gang initiation.
>
>STOP THE INSANITY! NO URBAN LEGEND EMAIL STRINGS IN 1999!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jonathan Reed '01 EC - Wood 508
EC DarkroomComm
Vice President, MIT SRC
PGP5 key ID: 401112A6
jdreed@mit.edu http://jon.mit.edu/
jdreed@genome.wi.mit.edu
3 Ames St Box 143 (617) 225-6538
Cambridge, MA 02142
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