[2708] in Humor
Do You Know Jack Schitt?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Wanna Ski?)
Fri Mar 12 00:27:51 1999
From: "Wanna Ski?" <phoenixxx9@hotmail.com>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 21:25:40 PST
WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a
response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can
intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt,
Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious
couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt,
Bull Schitt,and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was
then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken
Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and
subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The
wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
wedding.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct
them.
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