[2620] in Humor
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daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Roxanne M Cartwright)
Fri Jan 15 01:25:23 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Cc: napalmer@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 15 Jan 1999 01:22:47 EST
From: Roxanne M Cartwright <roxie@MIT.EDU>
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From: Stephanie Zielenski <sziele@sapient.com>
To: "'sigmas-humor@mit.edu'" <sigmas-humor@MIT.EDU>,
Jay Murphy
<jmurph@sapient.com>, Geoff Youell <gyouel@sapient.com>,
Paul Matthews
<pmatth@sapient.com>, Scott Myles <smyles@sapient.com>,
Rod Begbie
<rbegbi@sapient.com>,
Ann-Marie McCarthy <amccar@sapient.com>
Subject: FW: ONE-LINERS (abridged)
Date: Thu, 14 Jan 1999 22:51:28 -0500
X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.5.2232.9)
(Almost) clean humor!
- -Steph
- -----
Subject: ONE-LINERS (abridged)
Hello people....
Because I am such a good person--and have entirely tooo much time on my
hands--I have gotten rid of many of these 100 lines... so here are some
amusing little excerpts.... Oh by the way, there's a little vulgarity too ;)
Chrissie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. Well, aren't we just a ray of f***ing sunshine?
5. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
6. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
14. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
15. You! Off my planet!
16. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
18. Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
21. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put
shoes on my cat.
22. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
23. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was
flat.
26. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
31. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
32. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
33. If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...
38. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
40. Better living through denial.
41. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
50. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't
fallen asleep yet.
62. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
65. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
73. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
77. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
81. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside
the earth.
82. Earth is full. Go home.
88. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
91. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
93. Meandering to a different drummer.
94. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
96. Gene Police!!! Get out of the pool!!
97. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
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