[2615] in Humor
viruses (fwd)
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Yelena Margolin)
Thu Jan 14 00:17:14 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 14 Jan 1999 00:05:07 EST
From: Yelena Margolin <yelya@MIT.EDU>
------- Forwarded Message
Beware Of The Following viruses:
Ellen Degeneres virus - Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.
Monica Lewinsky virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer.
Titanic virus - Makes your whole computer go down.
Disney virus - Everything in the computer goes Goofy.
Mike Tyson virus - Quits after one byte.
Prozac virus - Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
Lorena Bobbit virus - Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
Woody Allen virus. - By-passes the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
Joey Buttafuoco virus - Only attacks minor files.
Spice Girl virus - Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
Ronald Reagan virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
Dr. Kevorkian virus - Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
Oprah Winfrey virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and
then slowly expands to 300MB.
AT&T virus - Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI virus - Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for
the AT&T virus.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus -Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Viagra virus - Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on
your zipdrive.
Then there is the Clinton PC. It has a six inch hard drive and no memory.
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