[2591] in Humor
Redneck Jokes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathan Reed)
Fri Dec 11 18:46:21 1998
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 1998 18:43:46 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Jonathan Reed <jdreed@MIT.EDU>
>
>> > YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF . . . . .
>> > The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth
>> than your
>> > spouse.
>> > You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner
>> table in
>> > front of her kids.
>> > Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.
>> > You've been married three times and still have the same
>> in-laws.
>> > You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a
>> different
>> > night.
>> > Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."
>> > You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
>> > You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so
>> clean.
>> > Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey,
>> y'all
>> > watch this!"
>> > You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
>> > You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
>> > Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
>> > You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
>> > Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
>> > You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are,
>> > "Gentlemen, start your engines."
>> > You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded
>> right off
>> > its wheels.
>> > You take a six-pack cooler to church.
>> > You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
>> > The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down,
>> depending on how
>> > much gas it has in it.
>> > You have to go outside to get something out of the
>> 'fridge.
>> > One of your kids was born on a pool table.
>> > Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the
>> same grade.
>> > You need one more hole punched in your card to get a
>> freebie at the
>> > House of Tattoos.
>> > You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your
>> front yard.
>> > Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a
>> law against
>> > it.
>> > You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high
>> school.
>> > You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife
>> drunk.
>> > Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
>> > Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jonathan Reed '01 EC - Wood 508
EC DarkroomComm
Vice President, MIT SRC
PGP key ID: 7103C785
jdreed@mit.edu http://jon.mit.edu/
jdreed@genome.wi.mit.edu
3 Ames St Box 336 (617) 225-6538
Cambridge, MA 02142
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