[2543] in Humor
fwd
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Yelena Margolin)
Mon Nov 9 08:54:08 1998
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 09 Nov 1998 08:47:36 EST
From: Yelena Margolin <yelya@MIT.EDU>
------- Forwarded Message
Subject: J: Corporate Lingo
> CLARIFICATION OF CORPORATE LINGO
> ================================
>
> "COMPETITIVE SALARY:" We remain competitive by paying less than
> our competitors.
>
> "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:" We have no time to train you.
>
> "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:" You'll be six months behind schedule
> on your first day.
>
> "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:" Some time each night and some time
> each weekend.
>
> "DUTIES WILL VARY:" Anyone in the office can boss you around.
>
> "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:" We have no quality control.
>
> "APPLY IN PERSON:" If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position
>
> has been filled.
>
> "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:" We've filled the job; our call for resumes
> is just a legal formality.
>
> "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:" You'll
> need it to replace three people who just left.
>
> "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:" You're walking into a company in
> perpetual chaos.
>
> "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:" You'll have the responsibilities of a
> manager, without the pay or respect.
>
> "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:" Management communicates, you listen,
> figure out what they want and do it.
>
------- End of Forwarded Message
