[2407] in Humor
HUMOR: Words to Live By
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Tue Aug 4 11:48:13 1998
Date: Tue, 04 Aug 1998 11:42:22 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
wheger@wbc-architects.com,
"kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com" <kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com>,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, rpr@ma.ultranet.com,
mtsai@bqa.com, immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com,
tlawlor@palmerdodge.com, nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>From: yasha@harari.org
>Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1998 18:08:20 -0400
>
>"It's so hot in Texas, the cows are giving off evaporated milk."
> -- The Texas Folklore Group
>
>
>Yasha Harari
>yasha@harari.org
>************************************************************************
>
>SOME TIME-HONORED TRUTHS:
>
>1. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
>
>2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
>
>3. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
>
>4. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
>
>5. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
>
>6. The older you get, the better you realize you were.
>
>7. I doubt, therefore I might be.
>
>8. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
>
>9. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
>
>10. Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
>
>11. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
>
>12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
>and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>
>13. A fool and his money are soon partying.
>
>14. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
>
>15. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
>
>16. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>
>17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
>
>18. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
>
>19. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
>
>20. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
>
>21. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
>
>22. If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
>
>23. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
>
>24. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
>
>
>Source: Gerry Jarcia
>************************************************************************
