[239] in Humor
Unofficial Guide to Phase II
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (jdhinter@MIT.EDU)
Tue May 3 12:53:13 1994
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Cc: ldgabbay@MIT.EDU, mariadf@MIT.EDU, sniemczy@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 3 May 94 12:49:47
From: jdhinter@MIT.EDU
From cate3@netcom.com:
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Dictionary of useful Research Phrases:
"It has long been known..."
I didn't look up the original references
"A definite trend is evident..."
These data are practically meaningless
"Of great theoretical and practical importance..."
Interesting to me
"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers
to these questions..."
An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope
to get it published
"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study..."
The results of the others didn't make any sense
"Typical results are shown..."
The best results are shown
"These results will be shown in a subsequent report..."
I might get around to this if I'm pushed
"The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones..."
He was my graduate assistant
"It is believed that..."
I think
"It is generally believed that..."
A couple of other guys think so, too
"It is clear that much additional work will be required before
a complete understanding of the phenomenon occurs..."
I don't understand it
"Correct within an order of magnitude..."
Wrong
"It is hoped that this study will stimulate further
investigation in this field..."
This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others
on this miserable topic
"A careful analysis of obtainable data..."
Three pages of notes were obliterated when
I knocked over a glass of beer
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The well-known statement of Murphy's Law--"If something can go wrong, it
will"--turns out to be a corruption of its original formulation: "If
there's
a wrong way to do a thing, somebody will find it and do it that way." (see
SCIENCE 83, Jan.-Feb.l983, p. 78) One of my favorite sourcebooks on this
subject is
Paul Dickson's THE OFFICIAL RULES, with its sequel THE OFFICIAL
EXPLANATIONS. I quote from "Gilb's Laws of Reliability":
(1) Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
(2) Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
(3) The only difference between a fool and a criminal is that the fool will
attack a system unpredictably and on a broader front.
(4) A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until the
resulting unreliability becomes intolerable.
(5) Self-checking systems tend to have a complexity in proportion to their
inherent unreliability.
(6)
The error-detection and -correction capabilities of any system serve as a
key to understanding the types of errors it cannot handle.
(7) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable
errors, which by definition are finite.
(8) All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise which is
impossible.
(9) Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable
cost of errors, or until somebody insists on getting some useful work done.
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