[2384] in Humor
HUMOR: Who Is Jack Schitt?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathon Weiss)
Thu Jul 16 23:16:58 1998
From: Jonathon Weiss <jweiss@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 1998 23:10:42 EDT
------- Forwarded Message
From: Amy Beverley Chan & Jeremy David Weiss <slinkie@cyberspace.org>
WHO IS JACK SCHITT? -THE LINEAGE REVEALED
Many people are at a loss for a response when confronted with the
accusation, "You don't know JackSchitt!". Now, armed with the following
information you can handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and his
wife, O. Schitt, a partner in the law firm of Knee, Deepin, Schitt, Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt and his wife, Noe Schitt, a deeply religious
couple, produced six children: Whollie Schitt, twins Deep and Dip
Schitt Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school
drop-out.
After fifteen years of marriage, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe then married
Mr. Sherlock, and having custody of her children, wanted to keep her
previous name. She, thus, became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt and his wife, Lotta Schitt, produced a cowardly son, Chicken
Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseperable throughout their
childhood and married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt, the
prodigal drop-out son, left home to tour the world and during his stay
in Italy, married Pisa.
Now, when someone says that you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct
them.
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