[2376] in Humor
HUMOR: High Tech Terms
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Mon Jul 13 09:52:17 1998
Date: Mon, 13 Jul 1998 09:45:49 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
wheger@wbc-architects.com,
"kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com" <kris.m.kelly@us.pwcglobal.com>,
jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU, rpr@ma.ultranet.com,
mtsai@bqa.com, immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com,
tlawlor@palmerdodge.com, nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu, Dean Roquet <roquet@fas.harvard.edu>
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>From: "Joke of the Day" <<Joker@joker.org>
>Date: Sun, 12 Jul 1998 22:03:31 +0000
>Subject: High Tech Terms
>***
>
>Dilberted
>To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from
>the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip
>character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised
>the specs for the fourth time this week."
>
>Link Rot
>The process by which links on a web page became obsolete
>as the sites they're connected to change location or die.
>
>Chip Jewelry
>A euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or
>turned into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for
>that Mac SE, and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."
>
>Crapplet
>A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just
>wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
>
>Plug-and-Play
>A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is
>great. He's totally plug-and-play."
>
>World Wide Wait
>The real meaning of WWW.
>
>CGI Joe
>A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and
>charisma of a plastic action figure.
>
>Dorito Syndrome
>Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive
>substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six
>hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito
>Syndrome."
>
>Under Mouse Arrest
>Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of
>conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under
>mouse arrest."
>
>Glazing
>Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular
>pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he
>notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"
>
>404
>Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message
>"404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried
>to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's
>404, man."
>
>Dead Tree Edition
>The paper version of a publication available in both paper
>and electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the
>San Francisco Chronicle..."
>
>Egosurfing
>Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research
>papers looking for the mention of your name.
>
>Graybar Land
>The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's
>processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray
>bar creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for
>what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."
>
>Open-Collar Workers
>People who work at home or telecommute.
>
>Squirt The Bird
>To transmit a signal up to a satellite. "Crew and talent are
>ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"
>
>Brain Fart
>A biproduct of a bloated mind producing information
>effortlessly. A burst of useful information. "I know you're
>busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on
>the Mitnik bust?" Variation of old hackerslang that had more
>negative connotations.
>
>Keyboard Plaque
>The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
>keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This
>one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."
>
>Career-Limiting Move (CLM)
>Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity.
>Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a
>serious CLM.
>
>Alpha Geek
>The most knowledgeable, technically-proficient person in
>an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek
>around here."
>
>Adminisphere
>The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank
>and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
>profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
>designed to solve.
>
>Tourists
>People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation
>from their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the
>class; the rest were tourists."
>
>Blowing Your Buffer
>Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you
>are speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has
>just said something so astonishing that your train gets
>derailed. "Damn, I just blew my buffer!"
>
>Gray Matter
>Older, experienced business people hired by young
>entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and
>established.
>
>Bookmark
>To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor
>borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing
>his cool demo at Siggraph."
>
>Nyetscape
>Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
>
>Beepilepsy
>The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their
>beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized
>by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping
>speech in mid-sentence.
>
>***
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