[235] in Humor
HUMOR: Tortured English
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Sat Apr 30 23:10:29 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sat, 30 Apr 94 23:08:24 EDT
Some of these are oldies, but they're all goodies...
-Drew
Date: 29 Apr 1994 22:25:26 +0500
From: "Sharalee Field" <sharalee@planning.mit.edu>
From: "Emily Cikovsky" <ECIKOVSK@us.oracle.com>
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TOP 12 ``ENGLISH'' SIGNS AROUND THE WORLD
12. Two signs from a Mexican shop entrance: English well speaking -- Here
speeching American.
11. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
10. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing
floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number
of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
9. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
8. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.
7. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors
during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
6. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city
tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
5. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your
own ass?
4. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served
here.
3. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please
control yourself.
2. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave
in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still
obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
1. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
