[2341] in Humor
HUMOR: Jewish personals
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Erik Nygren)
Fri Jun 12 15:32:48 1998
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 12 Jun 1998 15:25:18 EDT
From: Erik Nygren <nygren@MIT.EDU>
------- Forwarded Message
ACTUAL PERSONALS WHICH APPEARED IN ISRAELI PAPERS
Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB74.
Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in
woman. POB 87
Desperately seeking schmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires
female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30
is also OK. POB 64
Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful
Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house. POB 46
Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shule with, light
Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together,
attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. PB 658
Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality. POB 78
Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of
dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. POB 56
Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will accept
my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it.
POB 435
Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah
candles, havdalah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB
787
Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind.
Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB 555
Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try
it for eight days. Who knows? POB 43
80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male,
under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I? POB 545
I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to.
Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me.
I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please. POB 86.
Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made.
Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53
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