[2263] in Humor
HUMOR: In the Courtroom
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathon Weiss)
Sun Apr 12 02:11:28 1998
From: Jonathon Weiss <jweiss@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sun, 12 Apr 1998 02:04:48 EDT
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From: Amy Beverley Chan & Jeremy David Weiss <slinkie@cyberspace.org>
A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in
a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't
the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has
been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking
problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both
counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If
either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"
Submitted by: Cindy Gearld @ lvnworth.com
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