[2152] in Humor
HUMOR:heaven joke
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Victor P Morales)
Fri Aug 22 19:36:07 1997
From: Victor P Morales <vicmoral@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 22 Aug 1997 19:34:20 EDT
This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost
60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in
good health the last ten years mainly due to her
interest in health food and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took
them to their mansion, which was decked out with a
beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.
As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter
how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free, " Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship
golf course that the home backed up to. They would
have golfing privileges everyday and each week the
course changed to a new one representing the great
golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
Peter's reply, "This is heaven; you play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish
buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is heaven; it is free!"
Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol
tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as
much as you like of whatever you like and you never
get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger,
throwing down his hat and stomping on it and shrieking wildly.
Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was
wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all
your fault. If it weren't for your bran muffins, I
could have been here ten years ago!"
