[2092] in Humor
HUMOR: Bad Puns II
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Tue Jun 3 10:34:15 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 03 Jun 1997 10:29:22 EDT
Date: Mon, 02 Jun 1997 21:27:25 -0700
From: Connie Kleinjans <connie@interserve.com>
From: "Terry Weissman" <terry@netscape.com>
From: kirwin@netscape.com (Kent Irwin)
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in
the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your
kayak and heat it, too.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.
A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The
bartender says "we don't serve mushrooms here." The mushroom says "Why
not? I'm a fun guy!"
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to
the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his
home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says I'll
just have the "eggs benedict". His order comes a while later and it's
served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the
hubcap?" The waiter sings "Theres no plate like chrome for the
hollandaise!"
When she told me I was average she was just being mean.
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One
says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are
you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Did you hear about the Buddist who refused his dentist's novacaine
during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!
