[1980] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: Admissions Letter
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Fri Mar 28 10:40:11 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 1997 10:30:35 EST
It's real, but pre-1994 as I recall. At least, the MIT letter is. I
remember it...
-Drew
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 1997 08:55:18 -0400
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <pug@MIT.EDU>
Date: Thu, 27 Mar 1997 20:34:11 -0500
From: efrancis@MIT.EDU (Eileen Francis)
This seems to be making the rounds ... I wonder if it is a real
correspondence <dated 1994....in any case, I got a chuckle out of it.
Eileen
==========
This is an actual letter sent out by MIT to a prospective student.
The second letter is the student's reply.
_____________________________________________________________________
Dear John:
You've got the grades. You've certainly got the PSAT scores. And now
you've got a letter from MIT. Maybe you're surprised. Most students
would be.
But you're not most students. And that's exactly why I urge you to
consider carefully one of the most selective universities in America.
The level of potential reflected in your performance is a powerful
indicator that you might well be an excellent candidate for MIT. It
certainly got my attention!
Engineering's not for you? No problem. It may surprise you to learn we
offer more than 40 major fields of study, from architecture to brain and
cognitive sciences, from economics (perhaps the best program in the
country) to writing.
What? Of course, you don't want to be bored. Who does? Life here *is*
tough *and* demanding, but it's also *fun*. MIT students are
imaginative and creative - inside and outside the classroom.
You're interested in athletics? Great! MIT has more varsity teams - 39
- than almost any other university, and a tremendous intramural program
so everybody can participate.
You think we're too expensive? Don't be too sure. We've got surprises
for you there, too.
Why not send the enclosed Information Request to find out more about
this unique institution? Why not do it right now?
Sincerely,
Michael C. Benhke
Director of Admissions
P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure,
"Insight," just check the appropriate box on the form.
*************
May 5, 1994
Michael C. Behnke
MIT Director of Admissions
Office of Admissions, Room 3-108
Cambridge MA 02139-4307
Dear Michael:
You've got the reputation. You've certainly got the pomposity. And now
you've got a letter from John Mongan. Maybe you're surprised. Most
universities would be.
But you're not most universities. And that's exactly why I urge you to
carefully consider one of the most selective students in America, so
selective that he will choose only *one* of the thousands of accredited
universities in the country.
The level of pomposity and lack of tact reflected in your letter is a
powerful indicator that your august institution might well be a
possibility for John Mongan's future education. It certainly got my
attention!
Don't want Bio-Chem students? No problem. It may surprise you to learn
that my interests cover over 400 fields of study, from semantics to
limnology, from object-oriented programming (perhaps one of the youngest
professionals in the country) to classical piano.
What? Of course you don't want egotistical jerks. Who does? I *am*
self-indulgent *and* over confident, but I'm also amusing. John Mongan
is funny and amusing - whether you're laughing with him or at him.
You're interested in athletes? Great! John Mongan has played more
sports - 47 - than almost any other student, including oddball favorites
such as Orienteering.
You think I can pay for your school? Don't be too sure. I've got
surprises for you there, too.
Why not send a guaranteed admission and full scholarship to increase
your chance of being selected by John Mongan? Why not do it right now?
Sincerely,
John Mongan
P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure, "John
Mongan: What a Guy!" just ask.
