[1944] in Humor
HUMOR: Real Engineers
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon Mar 10 12:50:15 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Cc: jhimawan@alum.mit.edu
Date: Mon, 10 Mar 1997 12:37:03 EST
From: Katy King <katyking@MIT.EDU>
Date: Sun, 09 Mar 1997 17:10:31 EST
From: Betsy King <kingb@cftnet.com>
Subject: Real Engineers
Real engineers wear jewelry made from discarded motherboards.
Contrary to popular belief, real engineers do put on nail polish;
they just never remove it.
Real engineers schedule their yearly Pap smear around their beta
release schedule.
Real engineers not only nurse and program at the same time, but they
lull their babies to sleep by the clacking of the keyboard.
Real engineers buy their husbands matching screwdrivers for
Christmas, but use them more than he does.
Real engineers get narcotics during labor, not for the pain, but to
stop them from taking the fetal distress monitor apart.
Real engineers don't shave their legs above the hemline, in the
interest of efficiency.
Also in the interest of efficiency, real engineers buy convertibles
so they can blow-dry their hair on the way to work in the morning.
Real engineers carry 2 cans of soup, a yogurt (and a spoon), a box of
Tricuits and a package of light Hostess Cupcakes in their purses at
all times, in case they pull an all nighter.
Real engineers only buy purses big enough to fit their laptops in.
Real engineers only wear slipon shoes (with or without heels) so she
can take them off to sit cross legged in her chair while
programming.
Real engineers keep getting thrown out of Victoria's Secret because
they insist on knowing the exact tensile strength of their bras
before buying them.
Real engineers are excited at their first periods, but mostly because
its gives them a chance to use the biometric viscosity measurement
tools in their science kits.
Real Engineers carry a set of matched screwdrivers in their purses.
Real Engineers figure out how to nurse and fix the toaster at the
same time.
Real Engineers fix the runs in their pantyhose with duct tape.
Real Engineers figure out algorithms to minimize thread usage when
doing counted cross stitch.
Real engineers keep their key chains and pen pocket protectors on even
during labor.
Real Engineers look on having a baby as an opportunity to brush up
on biomedical and structural engineering in preparation for taking
the PE exam.
Real engineers cinch their biking skirts with cable ties.
Real engineers read the toxic shock inserts in the tampon box.
Real engineers examine the inner workings of the fetal monitor between
contractions.
Real engineers make cantilevered birthday cakes (but never provide
documentation on how to cut them!)
Real engineers never spell in front of the kids; they'd like
to, but they can't!
