[1887] in Humor
HUMOR: Guys Suck!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Feb 12 12:34:12 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 1997 12:22:44 EST
[staggeringly long list of forwards removed, except for the reference to
poor Tony, whoever he is...]
From: Jill Muchnij <muchnij@alleg.edu>
...
>From: KUENZIAM@washjeff.edu
>Subject: There's so much truth to this I should tatoo it on Tony's forehead
...
>Date: Tue, 4 Feb 1997 14:11:53 -0500 (EST)
>From: chica <hmoyer@falcon.lhup.edu>
>
GUYS SUCK......
and let me tell you why.
*****This message if for all the girls out there who have ever been
screwed over by a guy. (Which means all of us.) This is not a chain
letter so no bad luck will come to you if you don't send it to anyone,
but please read it, laugh and send it to your friends so they can see
what scum guys can be, too. Thanks and enjoy!!!!
GUYS SUCK......
and let me tell you why.
* FARTING - Why must you lift you leg? Why is it necessary to openly
do it anyway?
* JOCK-ITCH - We don't want to see you scratch.
* PORNOS - Why?
* PICK UP LINES - My God, be yourself.
* CALLING - Pick up the phone and dial!! If you say you will call,
CALL!!!
* DOUBLE STANDARDS - If you can do it, why the hell can't I?
* HONESTY - Learn the concept. It is a good thing.
* SENSITIVITY - Get some!!!!
* DEODORANT - Buy it! Use it!
* LOCKER ROOMS - Hello.....air freshner.
* HEADS - We know you have two heads, just PLEASE learn to use
the correct one!
* You can't beat up everyone. You are not the shit, - I AM.
* Being drunk is not an excuse to sleep with any thing on legs.
* Believe me, sex is NOT number one and you are NOT number one
at it.
* Why must you tell ALL of your friends about everything you do with
a girl? Just keep your mouth shut!!!
* Damn it - SHAVE!!!!!!!!
* Do not blame everything we do on P.M.S. We are females, shit
happens and it is not our fault.
* Try matching your maturity level to your age.
* We are NOT objects. We have feelings, thoughts and ideas. We can
even form words like "F--K YOU!!!"
* There is more to life than playing cards and video games
- How old are you??
* Why do we have to look good and you can look like shit?
* Can we go out in public? Your room does not excite me.
* Can we eat like humans - utensils were made especially for this
purpose. Ever heard of knives, forks, and spoons? How about napkins?
(This does not include shirt sleeves.)
* Get your priorities straight. You are not paying a ton of money
every year to get drunk, get laid, or play sports. Make something
of yourself!
* I am not putting myself through school to carry your sorry, lazy
ass through life.
* What is the deal with standing in front of your mirror - naked -
and thinking "Oh, what a God." Trust me you are not a God.
* Rulers were not invented to measure your genitalia - They were not
made that small. Why measure it anyway? There will always be
someone bigger and believe me, we can find him.
* Romance is not three seconds of sweat and nothing and then rolling
over and going to sleep.
* The one thing you are good for, you are not good at!
* No, I will not swallow!!!
* One word - DUH!!!!
Well I hope you all enjoyed. Please pass this message on and
if there is any guy that you think needs to know these things, please
send it to him, too. And if you feel you need to add something,
please feel free.
*And thanks to all the guys out there for the inspiration.
Nicole
