[1844] in Humor
Computer Songs
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (George Savvides)
Fri Jan 24 19:56:08 1997
Date: Fri, 24 Jan 1997 19:48:23 -0500
From: George Savvides <savvides@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Original: Jingle Bells
Microsoft
----------
Nine-tenths of a gig,
Biggest ever seen,
God, this program's big--
MS Word 15!
Comes on ten CDs,
And requires--damn!
Word is fine, but jeez--
60 megs of RAM?!
Oh! Microsoft, Microsoft,
Bloatware all the way!
I've sat here installing Word
Since breakfast yesterday!
Oh! Microsoft, Microsoft,
Moderation, please.
Guess you hadn't noticed:
Four-gig drives don't grow on trees!
-----------------------------------------
Original: Girls just wanna have fun
GIRLS JUST WANNA DEFUN*
-------------------------
I can't wake up, in the morning
Cause of what I've been doing for most of the night.
Teacher don't you know my program is done?
And girls just wanna defun.
The phone rings, in the middle of the night
Advisor screams, "Watcha gonna do with your life?"
Patrick**, how I relish double-oh-one***!
And girls just wanna defun.
They just wanna, just wanna, yeah
Girls just wanna defun.
Some people say
A beautiful girl can't tool all night like
The rest of the world.
I wanna be the one to welcome the sun.
And girls just wanna defun.
*Defun, the Lisp command to define a procedure
**Winston, ai professor, MIT
***6.001, Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs
------------------------------------------------
Original: Winter Wonderland
Happily Addicted to the Web
-----------------------------
Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
I'm happy--although
My boss let me go--
Happily addicted to the Web.
All night long, I sit clicking,
Unaware time is ticking,
There's beard on my cheek,
Same clothes for a week,
Happily addicted to the Web.
Friends come by; they shake me,
Saying, "Yo, man!Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
With a listless shrug, I mutter, "No, man;
I just discovered letterman-dot-com!"
I don't phone, don't send faxes,
Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
Who cares if someday
They drag me away?
I'm happily addicted to the Web!
--------------------------------------------
Original:Hotel California
OS California
--------------
In a dark deserted office
Alone and open-plan
Strong smells of black coffee
Percolating through my fan
Took a look at my user
He would give a zombie fright
Though his eyes grew heavy and his head grew dim
Still he had to hack through the night
There she sat on her CD
A nymph beside her well
I wondered if it mattered
If I were Compaq or if I were Dell
Then she fondled my chipset
And pulled my plug-and-play
As she reconfigured my Ether card
I heard my speaker say
Welcome to the OS California
What a change of pace
What an interface
Plenty of apps for the OS California
Pay without a fear
They will all be here
Her kernel's so Tiffany twisted
I get the Mercedes bends
When she runs lots of pretty pretty apps
From all her friends
How they dance in my low core
Oh how I sweat
Desp'rate to remember
Desp'rate to forget
So my man phoned his Mac friend
Who laughed at him down the line
And said, That interface was two years old
In nineteen eighty-nine
Still those adverts assault me
From far away
E-mail-bombed in the middle of the night
Just to have me say
Welcome to the OS California
What a change of pace
What an interface
Here's a new patch for the OS California
What a nice surprise
It's an ali-buy
A hall of memory mirrors
Pretend protected mode
She said, We are all prisoners here
Of two decades' code
And in the master journals
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their stern reviews
But they still can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember
There were discs all over the floor
He was hacking for his life to get me
As I was before
Hard luck, said my BIOS
We are programmed to deceive
You can reboot as hard as you like
But you can never leave
