[182] in Humor
Always lock your door!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (jdhinter@MIT.EDU)
Sun Apr 3 23:22:19 1994
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sun, 3 Apr 94 23:20:22
From: jdhinter@MIT.EDU
From: blgreenb@MIT.EDU
> I actually received this from acquaintances at Stanford. From the
>"Thank GOD I have a single room" department...
Brian
> My friend Chris here at Stanford had this happen to him last night...
>
>>
>> Hey guys,
>>
>> Unfortunately, I have a helluva college life story for
>> you all.
>> Last night I awoke at about 4:30am to some kind of
>> gushing sound, only to see a guy from down the hall half-naked
>> and peeing in the corner of my bedroom. No joke--I wish it were.
>> He was pretty drunk, and there was a lot of piss in there that had
>> to come out. I was half-asleep and pretty incredulous--it just
>> wasn't registering that there was a naked man pissing in my room.
>> I remember hoping that he was peeing on my wall and not on my tape
>> rack. Anyway, something in me finally snapped to a realization of
>> what was happening, and I swore and jumped out of bed. By then
>> the guy was done pissing, which I hadn't exactly tried to stop first
>> of all because the guy is a buffed wrestler and I don't know what he
>> would have done to me, and secondly I didn't know if he would respond
>> to my voice and turn towards me, spraying even more of my room.
>> So I leaped out of bed and told the guy to put his underpants
>> and pants back on. Then when I told him to go back to his room, he
>> seemed really glazed, his eyes were really bloodshot, drunk from a
>> night of frolicking. When I told him to go back to his room, he
>> said, "This is my room." "No," I said, "it's not." When I pointed
>> out that the person in the bed was Oliver, my roommate, he disagreed,
>> saying it was HIS roommate, Ale. "No, actually, it's Oliver," I
>> replied. "And that's my stereo and Oliver's stereo, and my bed and
>> Oliver's bed." "No, this is 319." "No, it's not." And then when I
>> opened the door, he seemed to realize what I was saying, and said,
>> "Oh, shit!" and left. And then I woke up Oliver, berated him for
>> leaving the door unlocked, and then we proceeded to make a 5am run
>> to Safeway to buy kitty litter and Lysol. We have talked to the
>> culprit since the deed was committed (and since most of the dorm
>> found out) and he was very apologetic and agreeable to paying for
>> the kitty litter and a steam cleaner. So everything came out all
>> right, so to speak.
>> Never a dull moment.
>>
>> Stained and Confused,
>> Chris
>>
