[1808] in Humor
Sobonic
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (yelya@MIT.EDU)
Fri Jan 10 11:54:26 1997
From: <yelya@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 10 Jan 1997 11:48:09 EST
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From: Cristobal Joseevich Junta <grisha@MIT.EDU>
Message-Id: <199701090139.UAA07005@playdoh.mit.edu>
To: russkis-flame@MIT.EDU
Subject: Irina Shulmanovich: (Fwd) New language (fwd)
Date: Wed, 08 Jan 1997 20:39:15 EST
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From: irina.shulmanovich@gs.com (Irina Shulmanovich)
Subject: (Fwd) New language (fwd)
Date: Wed, 8 Jan 97 19:20:50 EST
To: odessa@lists.best.com
New language -- Sovonic -- was just identified and described in
Linguistics Department of Algebra Consulting Services. This discovery
was inspired by recognition of other language -- Ebonic, which is
language of African Americans. Ebonic is now recognized by California
Department of Education.
Sovonic is language of Sovoks -- immigrants from Soviet Union.
(not only purebred).
One can tell Sovonic speakers and writers by observing following:
1. Articles "a" and "the" are never used or used randomly
2. "make" substituted for "do"
3. Past perfect time is never used
4. English words are used with Russian grammatical forms
(example: driveat', zabizyannyj, Vam cheese piece'om ili
na-slice-at')
5. Choice in prepositions is different with English and Ebonic
6. Obscure English words not known to Sovonic speakers are
never used.
===== Enter Cristobal Junta ====
7. W and V are arbitrarily interchangeable (It's short walk
and It's short valk are equally likely. Notice
that Sovonics is thus nondeterministic. Also notice
lack of articles in this rule. :)
8. TH is pronounced as S or Z (Zis is Sovonics. Sink about it.)
====== Exeunt Junta =======
We could not come up with examples of such words.
Just as Ebonic, it has several qualities that qualify it as separate
language:
1. There is certain ethnic population (Sovoks, purebred,
halfbred and underbred) which uses Sovonic exclusively,
from one generation into another
2. Sovonic has created stable linguistical forms
3. Sovonic is used almost exclusively in many areas of US
such as Brighton Beach New York.
4. Sovonic, Ebonic, and English speakers have problems with
understanding one another
5. Both Ebonic and Sovonic speakers are offended of politically
incensitive English-speaking bigots who attempt to "correct"
them.
Sovonic Minority Association of United States demands equal and fair
treatment. We demand that:
1. Sovonic language recognized as equal to English and Ebonic
2. Sovonic speakers did not discriminated for use of Sovonic
grammar
3. Because past discrimination in TOEFL and other bigoted
tests, Sovonic speakers be allowed to take TISL -- Test
In Sovonic Language. TISL scores should be equal along
TOEFL scores.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* Help Wanted *
* Brighton Beach Department in Education is *
* seeking Sovonic Speaker to head its new *
* Linguistic Fairness Program 718-261-2013 *
***********************************************
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