[1805] in Humor
app. for admission
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Yelena Margolin)
Thu Jan 9 20:21:55 1997
From: Yelena Margolin <yelya@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 09 Jan 1997 16:02:56 EST
UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
APPLICATION FOR ADMISSION
NAME
___________________________________________________________________
Last First Middle Suffix
Home Address
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Palm Springs Address
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Height _____ WEIGHT _____ Bust (if applicable) _____
Bench Press _________ Hair Color (Natural) __________
1. Which of the following body types is nearest to yours? [circle one]
mesomorph octomorph endomorph
[please ask someone if you don't know what any of these words mean]
2. Which of the following best describe you? [circle one]
jock bimbo blond bimbo
3. Personal bank account interest (u.s. and foreign) accrued this past
fiscal year:
$__________
4. Are you a football player? If yes, please skip to the last line
of this application.
5. What is the number of hired servants in your household?________
6. What type of BMW do you drive?
Year _____
Model_____
Accessories ____________________________________________
7. List all of your personal major credit cards
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
8. Estimate your parents' annual income (round off to the closest
$50,000 (use exponents if necessary and if you know what they are)
$___________
9. Have you read a book this year? _____ If yes, why?
______________________________________________________
10. Have you ever held a job that your parents didn't get you?
_______ If yes, why?
______________________________________________________
11. Name five of the United States (for instance, California,
Florida, Illinois, New York, Texas)
______________________________________________________
12. What is your favorite sitcom? ___________________________
13. What sports or gossip magazines do you read?
_______________________________________________________
14. How to you spell U.S.C's nickname (which is "trojans")?
______________
15. If you are selected to attend U.S.C., do you plan to graduate?
______ If yes, in how many years? 5____ 6____ 7____ 8____
16. Have you ever taken a test on your own?
_____ If yes, why?
Essay Questions
[Answer one (1) essay question. Take as much time as you need. You
may have the assistance of your parents or tutor. If necessary, you may
have someone read you the question and write your answer. However,
do not exceed the space provided]
1) You are going to be stranded at a desert resort hotel for three
weeks. You will be allowed to bring along only five of your family's
servants. Which servants will you bring? Why?
________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________
2) You are trapped in Barney's or Neiman Marcus for one hour with
only $10,000. What will you buy? Why?
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
*******************************************************************************
***
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***
Please enclose your high school transcript [your grades] and a
recommendation by your coach or plastic surgeon, with an 8x10 glossy
color photograph [of you].
Please submit a $2,500 deposit towards your application fee (the amount
of which will be determined by how much the athletic department or major
sororities want you).
Please sign below [ "x" is ok if you cannot write your name].
________________________________________
Signature
_______________________________________
Date
------- End of Forwarded Message
