[1797] in Humor
HUMOR: Martha Stewart's Holiday Report
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon Jan 6 10:25:39 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 06 Jan 1997 10:05:47 EST
Date: Sun, 5 Jan 1997 22:40:47 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: Mike Weston <mweston@ix.netcom.com>
Monday, 9:00 a.m.
Hi Loretta,
This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper
I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it
snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn
wood and a glue gun. I hand-painted it in gold leaf, got out
my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to
make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from
DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room.
By then, it was time to start making the place mats
and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old
standard Stuart twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on
a little secret: I didn't have time to make the table and
chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.
Before I moved the table into the dining room, I
decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So, I repainted
the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling.
Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique
candle molds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of
pink) to use for breakfast. These were made from Hungarian
clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian craft store.
Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes
on the dress I'm wearing for breakfast. I'll get out the
sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the
glue dries on the envelope I'll be making. Hope my breakfast
guests don't stay too long -- I have 40,000 cranberries to
string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon.
It's a good thing.
Love,
Martha Stewart
P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used
1/8-inch gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture
of white grapes and blackberries which I grew, picked,
and crushed last week just for fun.
