[1759] in Humor
HUMOR: How to photograph a new puppy
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Fri Dec 13 11:23:58 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 13 Dec 1996 11:17:00 EST
Date: Thu, 12 Dec 1996 20:18:03 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: "Phil Archer" <parcher@menlo.edu>
**How To Photograph A New Puppy**
1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, "No, OUTside!"
17. Call spouse to clean up mess.
18. Fix a drink (or whatever).
19. Collapse on the sofa and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and
"stay" the first thing in the morning.
