[174] in Humor
HUMOR: Sitcoms, as written by the Network Operations Center
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Sat Apr 2 08:21:05 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sat, 02 Apr 94 08:19:36 EST
Date: Mon, 28 Mar 1994 21:37:27 -0700
From: matossian@aries.colorado.edu (Espacionaute Spiff domine!)
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 1994 20:58:48 -0500 (EST)
From: Bill Casti <quire@vector.casti.com>
Subject: HUMOR: What would TV have been like if the techno revolution hit sooner... (fwd)
Imagine for a moment if the computer revolution had occurred a
decade or so sooner. With all the power and chaos of the 60's, it's not
to hard to go further and pretend that ...
Computer Nerds Could Have Controlled Network Programming.
by Robert S. Coats
Gilligan's Island:
The Professor finds some rare binary coconuts that can be used to upgrade
the ROM in his bamboo clone modem to support X.25. After hours of effort,
he manages to establish a connection via his papaya-based VT-100 terminal
and satellite uplink with Telenet, but falls asleep from exhaustion.
Gilligan walks up and types "+++" then "ATH" and drops the line. The
Skipper beans him with a rock and finally loses it, his seafaring years
catch up with him and he starts making lewd remarks to Mary Ann about
playing Leisure Suit Larry IV together. Meanwhile, Mr. Howell finally
figures out how to work the ISDN set that was accidentally dropped by a
passing JAL jet and has a heart attack when he hears via Dow Jones News
Retrieval that the stock market has soared above 3000 points. Ginger calls
CompuServe and E-mails some software developers in an effort to convince
them that she would be a good model for MacStripPoker 2.0. Eventually, all
connectivity on the island is lost, when Gilligan discovers an actor in a
bad gorilla costume has shorted pins 2&3 on the serial cable, and everybody
on the island has just been echoing characters to each other.
The Brady Bunch
Peter uses Crosstalk Mk.4 to dial into the high school computer and,
through hacking tricks picked up from a local "adults only" BBS, is able
to access individual student's "permanent records." He scans through the
listings, then, using a clever keyboard macro, alters his completed
courses such that he won't be required to take English Lit again. However,
Jan is working in the school office at the time and is alerted to the
invasion by a diligent anti-viral TSR. She is then tormented with having
to decide to do the "right thing" or be loyal to her brother. Jan goes
home and talks to Alice, who says she should analyze all the factors and
then decide after using the new artificial intelligence software Mr. Brady
has recently installed on his '386 laptop. Jan tries to use the program,
but instead accidentally deletes all the files in the Harvard Graphics
directory, leaving Mr. Brady to blow a presentation the next day. Mrs.
Brady finds out via Jan what happened, and forces Peter to write "I will
not hack into the school computer" 5000 times with EDLIN while the rest of
the family eats angle food cake on the patio.
