[1703] in Humor
HUMOR: Tech Support Woes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Tue Nov 19 09:55:10 1996
Date: Tue, 19 Nov 1996 09:45:51 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Date: Mon, 18 Nov 96 15:44:02
From: mkhusid@MIT.EDU (Michael Khusid )
From: "Prof. Martin Patt, Dept. of Electrical Engineering"
<pattm@woods.uml.edu>
From: MX%"fishmani@lafvax.lafayette.edu" 17-NOV-1996 21:38:30.72
Check out the following excerpts from a Wall Street
Journal article by Jim Carlton, and you'll realize there are lots of people
in the world far, far more idiotic
>1. Compaq is considering changing the command
> "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of
> calls asking where the "Any" key is.
>
>2. AST technical support had a caller complaining
> that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The
> cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
>
>3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
> that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old
> diskettes. After trouble- shooting for magnets and heat failed to
> diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the
> diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
>
>4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
> diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
> with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
>
>5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
> back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to
> hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and
> crossing the room to close the door to his room.
>
>6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
> to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
> discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
> front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
>
>7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a
> Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a
> couple of friends, "the customer replied. When told Egghead was a
> software store,the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a
> couple of geeks."
>
>8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
> longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water
> and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing
> them individually.
>
>9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
> because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech
> explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
> shouldn't be taken personally.
>
>10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
> her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
> plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the
> power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and
> nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
>
>11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
> computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in,
> and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked
> what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
> power switch?"
>
>12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
> Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
> Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
> Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
> warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
> Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
> Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
> Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did
> you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show?
> How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark
> on it?"
> Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
> promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
> At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't
> stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive
> as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
>
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Andrew Bennett MIT Department Ocean Engineering
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